Dear Woman,
I never thought last Sunday was a Wake Up Call for me. No matter how much I Won’t Go Home that night, the truth finally speaks itself … Nothing Lasts Forever.
All these years, I keep coming Back At Your Door and it Makes Me Wonder if I really Fell In Love With You. I finally realized that it was only an infatuation … I love you as a friend instead. Fear not, what we shared during our weekend rendezvous will remain a Secret.
There’s no doubt that I’m the reason our friendship is Falling Apart. Trust me, it’s Harder To Breathe knowing that I’ll Never See Your Face Again. I’m not saying it’s Better That We Break. The truth is, I’m still not Through With You.
This may not be the Sweetest Goodbye but it would be for the best. For what it’s worth, you’re the best friend I’ve ever had … you accept me for who I really am and I cherish that for life.
Someday … I Will Be Loved.
I’m sorry for everything. Take care …
- Not a girl, not a Woman -
< M5 >
2 comments:
Funny isn't it? you are the other side of the situation with some people, but the only one thing I can say about your 'Woman' is that if she is a true friend, she will be back. True friendship is the only that can survive after all kind of mistakes, incidents, etc. I teel this after I have re-encounter old friends, people who even I thought were never true and I am glad I was wrong about them, as they also admitted they were wrong too, so there is space for forgiveness.
Carl tinks the worst things about me, he has wrong ideas about himself too. He lies to himself so what can I do? he is going away today and I hope he finds what he is after, so when he does, he will understand why he was wrong. If he is strong, we will even try to mend all his mistakes if he needs to. He will move on and I will too. But I still wish to find the right one, and I am determined to find that person or let that person find me once I am fine.
I am happier because I can be on my own and not feel sorrow or pain. I have no more pain. I have let go all the past, and the past has come back to make sure I am ok with it. I have even found friends from school, lost friends, facebook is a miracle.
I have seen photos from childhood and recalled things that make me so happy now, that I have all the energy to carry on and achieve more. I can now live my life and even if I don't find the loved one I long for, I will be happy anyway as I have loved a lot.
I wish your 'Woman' gets back to you, as you know you are her friend. If she cares she will. If she doesn't, then she was never a friend at all.
I hurt a few ppl lately. First one is Angel or ‘Elle Dee’. I used to feel something for her until she migrated to another country last year. I felt partly responsible for her migration. A month ago, she expressed thru her blog saying that I made her felt suffocated as I frequently visited her blog. All I ever wanted was to know if she’s ok. I didn’t mean to ‘stalk’ her at all. So I had to let her go. It hurts me initially but somehow I felt liberated after that. I guess love was never there at all from the beginning.
Then a few weeks back, I went out with someone from the past -‘Woman’. She got in touch with me early this. She's married now but occasionally need a few hrs away from her family. We normally go out for coffee or dinner. We were not trying to revive the past but become good friends again. I promised her that there’ll be no romance between us at all. So that week, we took a drive for a ‘getaway’ in a city. We had a great time throughout the journey, lots of fun & laughter. Somehow, just an hour before we arrived back home late evening the next day, I made a stupid mistake. I suddenly cried silently while listening to a song that reminds me so much of Angel. ‘Woman’ misunderstood me and thought that I was feeling for her instead. She got angry and refused to talk to me for the rest of the journey. When I dropped her off, she refused to listen to what I had to say. Until now, she wouldn’t even answer my call. I miss her so much and I want her back so bad !!!
Anyway, I realized that I’ve been wrong about Angel. She wasn't the one for me. When she left, l tried with someone else (Baby) but it didn’t work either as she doesn’t care about me. She’s done with me once she got what she wanted. When ‘Woman’ came back this year, I started to think if she could be the right one for me instead. I was wrong again as she wanted nothing more than just being good friends which I gladly agree. Somehow, I felt easier being her friend than being someone whom I wanted to be all these while.
What happened recently made me realized that I’ve never fall in love before. I misunderstood the perception of love. Perhaps it was purely friendly kind of love or affection that I felt all these years. I’ve to admit that I don’t know what true love is but I do wish to feel it someday if given a chance. As for now, I really wish to be friends again with ‘Woman’ coz I don’t have to pretend to be anyone but myself around her.
I’ll wait for her to return my call soon. If I could wait for her to come back for the last 7 years, then a little bit longer would not hurt. We’ll be together again as good friends someday ... that’s my only wish. I can feel that she still cares for me as a friend but needed time for herself. I shall wait for her return …
I thank you again for being there when I needed to be heard. Have a wonderful day my dear friend & take care.
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